The end... and the beginning

The end has arrived
or rather the beginning
the beginning of life ever after
Life after the death of the semester
well, for the time being
I could decide to finish a Master's
as some point
long ways away
for now, I'll enjoy what will feel like freedom
freedom from being treated the way
children do
like they couldn't possibly have anything good to say
without the approval of a grade
The period has finally arrived to be
Fully alive
First by allowing my body its resting time
then by occupying my space with my choosing
not because I have been assigned
or because I am on a deadline
but because I want to spend my hours
in that particular fashion
No more required reading
No more critiques of my aesthetic dreaming
No more pretending to agree to get a letter for the record
No more dealing with the bullshit of the smoke screen of the lessons
Not that I didn't learn my lot and plenty of it
I certainly don't regret any moments
though I wonder how some could have played out
just a little bit different
Most of it has to do with the circumstances that surrounded
the life that was happening the whole while
and the real shit that had to be dealt with
while having to put up with much of the banal bullshit
but it's done now
I can move on
and go home.
Home, where my heart has been waiting
for the past year
when I left it there
to be held safely
It's been carefully protected
I want to be reunited with it
and with all of the people who have held it so close
My family of choosing
My wonderful community
who I long to be near
and grow old along with.
Pittsburgh, you magical hub of magical beings whom I so love dearly
I can't wait to reach back into your soil and
grow a steady foundation of roots to ground me
and dance to the music of the people who move me
and make art with the people who I find inspiring
and make love to someone
whoever that may be
I long for the life that is waiting for me
and the life that I am living now
will be a time of reflective peace
until that time comes
when I'm at the end of the beginning and
am finally simply exisiting